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Run, LuLu, Run!!

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Nicole is a particularly southern NA.  She would honestly say things like “My boyfriend and I work re-po on the weekends,” in as twangy a drawl as you can possibly imagine.  One day she yells to me from the other end of the hall, “LuLu, come!!”  First of all, my name is not LuLu. My nickname is not LuLu.  LuLu is just what Nicole called me because that’s how country she is.

I start down the long hall.

“LuLu!!  Run!!”  I hate running in the hospital.  Nothing freaks out patients (or other staff) quite like seeing a nurse run down the hall.  “LuLu!”

I kick it up a notch and start to jog.

Pamela, in room 17, is no longer in room 17. She’s in Bob’s room across the hall.  Thankfully, Bob is off getting an X-ray.  I look around and put the pieces together.  Pamela had to poo. She got up, wandered into the hall, went in Bob’s room, used the bathroom, and then got in Bob’s bed.  Unfortunately she left a, um, “trail” everywhere she went.  The discovery of the trail was the only reason we discovered quickly that something was amiss.

Now mind you, two hours ago Pamela was a normal, middle-aged lady who knew how to find the toilet and use it.   To you nurses, what would you do next?  Yep, get a blood glucose.  Her “sugar” was really low.  Four juice boxes later, she was back to her old self and had no memory of her exploits.  Too bad I’ll never forget it!

Signs from Above

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Unfortunately, the hospital can be a bit of chaos.  To keep us on task and help us have needed information at our fingertips, management and various ancillary services post needed information within view and arms’ reach.  Sounds good. Until you see what it devolves into over time.  Seriously? Can’t some of these signs be combined? My favorite is the latest one to appear. It simply says, “W.D.Y.D.T? What did you do/document today.”  Wow. You just took up more space with another piece of paper and told me exactly nothing.

Anthrax Scare

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Over the weekend a nurse told me a story about an anthrax scare.  Apparently, the cops showed up to a house where a man was a bit out of it and there was white powder all over the room and the gentleman.  The gentleman claimed he did not know what the powder was or how it got there. Due to the threat of bioterrorism, the police called a biohazard team.  Dressed in biohazard “space suits” the biohazard team brought the man out of the apartment, stripped him naked in the parking lot and hosed him down.  I’m sure it was quite a scene!  It turned out the white powder was cocaine.  When they searched the house they found a kilo of cocaine under the couch.  Apparently the cat had gotten a hold of the cocaine, tore it open, and dragged it all over the apartment!  The gentleman was brought to the emergency room and admitted for his drug intoxication.  What a story!